problems I can't solve

I'm sick of watching the news because they keep giving me problems I can't solve. Some one's killing all the bees! You like honey? Don't worry about it if you don't like HONEY and, oh yeah, FLOWERS! Yeah if you hate honey and flowers don't trouble your little head about the bees dying. ME? I L-UUUUVE bees and flowers. Well, someone's slaying all the bees. They're just vanishing. That's the word the news used "vanishing" . So what am I to do. I don't know how to save the bees! To say nothing of the ELEEE- FANTS. You got TUSK FIENDS out there machine gunning all the Elee-fants. Fuckers! Can you imagine? What'd an Elee-fant ever do to a human? Nothing. I mean there are a few isolated incidents when a captive and "tame" elee-fant will stomp and rend his owner asunder but that only illustrates the fact that an Eleee-fant should never be kept as a pet. fucking assholes! Every time I watch a nature show they always end it with a statement like "Hey hope you enjoyed the show. Aren't elephants cool? Yeah well guess what in like 4 years they'll all be gone thanks to you dirty human people and all your habitat hogging and poaching! The End." I'm always like, noooo..tell me what to do. Do I run an adoption program? What? Do I buy me a M4, shave the pin down and start hunting the elephant killers? I will. (NOT REALLY ACTUALLY, I DON'T HAVE THE ENERGY OR THE KNOW HOW) Flippin Global Warming! Who are these Global warmists? Hmmm...they need to die cuz I have no IDEA how to cool the planet. I really don't. I've been trying to reduce my carbon footprint but not really. In fact, I have no idea how to do even that! And you know what, either do you so just give that some thought before you put that retarded STOP GLOBAL WARMING sticker on the back of your Prius. A hole!